Do you ever feel like you’ve lost a spark? I don’t want to say your spark, because I think we all have several sparks inside that appear or are a part of us at random times. But something in the ‘I used to be outgoing’ department seems to have left the building on a temporary basis? Okay, so maybe ‘temporary’ may be more semi-permanent of late. Temporary in dog years?
I don’t know if it’s because I’m feeling like I’m reclusive–in part by lack of transportation and in part by being glued to my work–but I don’t feel the same as I have felt in the past.
Recently I taught The History Project to 50-ish women at our church…and I felt the spark. That tiny little glimmer of being engaged with laughter and conversation and having fun with women I’ve known for a long time…many for 20+ years. I haven’t felt that in a long time. It was especially fun when I even had the resident sweetheart ‘a bit older’ lady doing a little ‘head banging’ (okay, nodding) to some Bohemian Rhapsody. That was delightful.
And last week, I was taking dinner to a sweet friend who’d lost her father. I don’t feel like I’d been out of the house in ages, except for church, much less had driven as far as her house 20 minutes away. It was a beautiful evening. As I stood on the front porch waiting at the other friend’s house who was contributing the dinner, I looked out at the valley in the evening light and just soaked it in.
I definitely don’t get out enough.
Sometimes I look back at old blog posts and feel, ‘Hey, I used to write some fun stuff.’ Sharing more than just the usual work stuff.
Where did that go?
Is it because I’m getting older?
Is it because I’ve lost some spark?
I can’t even watch tv and listen to music like I used to, especially when I work. Quiet or reruns is the only thing that I can handle much of, and that’s not much. And because I do like it quiet, and my house is not with three college students coming and going with school and work, I find myself up on my bed working. (Okay, so maybe I may have flannel pj bottoms on too. It’s so much more comfortable to sit on the bed with those on.)
Wrong place to be and probably wrong things to wear.
I miss that spark that used to be such a big part of me.
I make goals and have all the motivation in the world to capture more of life, but as I look down at one of the many incomplete projects, I think to myself, ‘I’m still in the same rut.’
How do I find the balance between work and life?
Many of you that work at home totally know what I’m talking about.
I want to read. I want to crochet. I want to scrap.
So, in an effort to begin taking my One Little Word to heart, I downloaded the Kindle app to my iPad.
I am going to read. Just adding it to my iPad felt a bit liberating. I feel like if a ‘book’ is at my fingertips now, I will be more inclined to read it. In a couple weeks though when I’m not so busy. Baby steps. ;)
As it starts to get warmer–or stay warmer–I am going to work outside.
I am going to scrap more. I loved making the mini album in this week’s post!
And, I’m going to pull those three lines of crochet, that the ‘resident older lady’ taught me how to do a year and a half ago, out of my bag that’s been sitting by my bed and I am going to work on it instead of my computer–even if it’s just for an hour.
I need to make myself have a life that’s not at the keyboard.
That is not capturing life.
And I need to live my OLW.
That is, after all, why I chose it.