I’ve been self-employed or worked from home pretty much since Jordan was 3. And now that I do the math, that’s nineteen years. She’ll be 22 in November.
I’ve always had the hardest time choosing to do something creative or relaxing when I know that I could be being productive. Even something as simple as watching tv–when technically ‘work hours’ are through for most people–isn’t easy. Laptops, ya know? It’s easy to type up a blog post or answer emails or make some designs as you’re listening.
I’ve struggled with finding balance between personal time and work time. You’d think that after 19 years I’d have found a way to get rid of the guilt associated with shutting the computer and shutting off the brain. That’s not to say that I work 24/7, so to speak. I do take time off. I will go to lunch with my bestie or run errands with my family, etc.. But it’s stuff like this, taking a few hours to read a book or like in my latest endeavor–crocheting this afghan–the guilt of knowing that I could have been working inevitably sets in. And now that I’m processing what I’m saying, it’s particularly the guilt associated when I do something that only involves me. A personal, singular activity.
How do you allow yourself to say it’s okay to read a book or crochet and not design or scrap (in my case)?
How do you shake that guilt?
Am I alone in this boat?
What do you do to change your mindset?
Is it just a matter of doing it and letting go of it all? Will the guilty feeling just naturally start going away when you say your work hours are done?
Are we just so hard on ourselves that we’ll always feel that?
I don’t wanna always feel that. But seeing the nineteen year record….apparently I haven’t learned how to get rid of the guilt and know that it’s okay.